Vulva not vagina

It is very difficult not to feel disappointed, frustrated, sad, annoyed, exasperated, and positively perplexed at people's inability to correctly name the human anatomy.

For clarification the vulva is the name for all exterior parts (both sets of labia, clitoris, urethral opening, vaginal opening and mons pubis) and the vagina is the internal canal.

One could also use the analogy of the face and throat. If the vulva is the face and the vagina is the throat. You wouldn't say you have such a beautiful throat, when complimenting a person's face?

Vulva not Vagina Illustration by Author

Interestingly the origin of the word vagina is Latin for sheath. 

Now as many (if not all) Latin scholars and academics were men it's not surprising they chose a name which reflected their experiences of this magical body part. Which, unsurprisingly, only fuels my language mission more. Fighting the patriarchy is a full-time job but some wins are easier than others. We can start today, right now to take some power back. Correctly naming body parts, especially the genitals is vital for sexual autonomy, safety and pleasure. 

But it's not just some 17th Century Latin dudes we have to thank for mislabeling genitals. Silencing the vulva is everywhere in movies, books, TV, magazines, and institutions (I never once heard the word vulva in my 90’s sex ed class). 

In her Netflix 2019 comedy special, Nikki Glaser is saying vagina when she means vulva. 

The groundbreaking and utterly fabulous Tv series Sex Education has the famous solidarity ‘It’s my vagina’ scene when really it should be ‘it’s my vulva’.

And the glorious Flo Perry has written a brilliant graphic novel about Feminist Sex but continues to say vagina, even though she knows it's vulva… why? 

We’ve all been brainwashed… 

Myself included. It's only been in the last decade, that I heard the name vulva and was able to start using it appropriately.

It seems unfathomable to me now to have spent most of my life, not truly knowing myself and my body.

To silence or not give a name to something means we remove an understanding of it, its knowledge and its power. 

My reasons to say vulva. 

Knowledge

Power 

Pleasure 

It gives us the knowledge to shape our language which forms personal and societal understanding. It's through language that we foster a deeper awareness of ourselves and enable us to communicate our wants and needs more accurately.

It develops power through bodily autonomy, knowing oneself is a wonderfully powerful thing. By reconnecting with our bodies we can seek appropriate medical support, establish personal boundaries and expand our safe (and sexy) practices.

And last but by no means least pleasure. For many vulva owners, 81.6% to be exact, penetration alone does not an orgasm make. Which means our sheath is not where the fun is at... We need clitoral stimulation and where’s the clitoris, in the vulva! By knowing the correct names and parts for our vulvas we can describe the type of pleasure we’d like to give and receive, I don't think that's too much to ask for, do you? 

So say it with me now ‘It's my vulva’!

Viva la Vulva!

Should you experience any pain during sex either in your vagina or vulva, speak to a medical professional including a sex therapist. This is something I can support you with, so reach out.